I was 7 years old when Star Wars first came out in 1977 (yes, I am THAT old) and I was an instant fan.  My love of the teddy bear-looking characters called Ewoks were my favorite. I remember one particular episode where the Ewok, Wicket, is speaking to his friend, Towani.  Wicket says, “Goodbye. Goodbye.”  Then Towani says, “Goodbye.  Not good.”  That phrase touched me in a place deep in my heart as a young girl, and it is a phrase I have still held onto all these years.  Maybe because it’s true.  Goodbye is not good, so why is the word “good” in there?   

As a mother, the last thing we want to do is say goodbye to our kids.  I knew that day would eventually come, but, boy, was I ill-equipped.  For 18 years, I had been preparing my son to leave the nest, but I had neglected to get myself ready.  How could I have let that one slip by?  How foolish of me, really!  It could have been because, so often, a mother’s needs are met last.  We make sure everyone else in the household is taken care of and sometimes neglect to care for ourselves.  Or, maybe it was because, subconsciously, I really didn’t want it to happen, so I kicked that can down the road and tried not to think about it.   

The day we dropped Nick off in Georgia to begin his gap year on the mission field, I told myself to be strong, to try not to cry (yeah, right), and to have some parting words of wisdom as my final dialogue with my son face-to-face.  Instead, Nick held a sobbing, snot-nosed, mess of a woman, who, when trying to speak, would only choke out words nobody could understand.  Not quite what I had hoped for.  I didn’t want my son to think of me as weak, but as a strong mother who could tackle hard things with a stiff upper lip and someone to be admired.  I regretted the way I had conducted myself, but as the weeks and months went by without him in our home, I had time to reflect on that last day together. 

One of the things I was able to voice as our family hugged each other was that our tears were actually a very sweet gesture.  If we had just slapped each other on the back, quickly said goodbye, and went on our way, it would have meant there was little care taken at such an important moment.  We were crying so hard because our love was so strong.  We didn’t want to separate.  We didn’t want to break up our family.  We didn’t want to not be together.  And in that, I realized it was good.  It was good to love someone so much that the very thought of not seeing them broke our hearts.  It was good to know our family has something special.  It was good that we were sad and not happy to see one of us go.  It was good that our bond was and is that strong.   

So, yes, goodbye can be good because we realize the love involved.  We get perspective on the goodness of family – our family.  It was good because we wished Nick well as he departed from us.  We prayed over him all good things: protection, adventure, purpose and fun.  And, we looked forward to our reunion with him in nine months when our family would be complete and whole again.  That hope that we clung to was good.   

So, instead of being sad about goodbye, look at it as the end of one thing and the beginning of another.  Something new could be on the horizon.  Yes, change can be good.  It can be healthy, and it can help us grow.  Goodbye might simply mean “see you later” instead of something more permanent.  Goodbye doesn’t have to be a bad thing, such as saying goodbye to some weight we have been trying to lose.  Saying goodbye to cancer after months-long treatment.  Saying goodbye to some debt that you have been able to pay off.   

Once again, I think it comes back to perspective.  A positive spin in any situation is the preferred route to go and ends up making you feel better in the end.  So, next time you have to say goodbye and it’s difficult, shed the tears and appreciate that you cry so hard because you loved so much.