My absolute favorite TV show of all time is “This is Us.”  It had emotional story lines of everyday life in an imperfect family and how they maneuvered their way through the twists and turns that were thrown at them.  It touched on subjects such as death, addiction, sibling rivalry, parenting, marriage, etc.  I could relate to so many of the characters because they dealt with what every family goes through over the generations of living life together.  Most episodes made me cry because they hit home in one way or another.  The show ended in 2022 after six seasons, and I was so disappointed that it was over.  What was I to do with my Tuesday nights now?  No more cry fests or what felt like therapy sessions after an hour-long episode.

It made me think about my own life and what the title “This is Us” really means.  Looking closer at our little family of four, I realized that what makes us “us” is our imperfections.  There have been many times that I have failed as a wife and mother.  Perhaps I didn’t say the right thing or keep my cool.  Maybe my teenagers took something more seriously than it truly was.  My husband wasn’t as patient as he could have been.  We have ebbed in flowed through the years hitting highs and lows emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  All four of us have experienced the hardships of simply existing.  Some days we have excelled at living and other days we have flopped exponentially.  However, all the while we have tried to remain Team Furtado to be there for one another.

We have done our best to show our kids that we are not perfect.  Not perfect parents and certainly not perfect human beings.  None of us are, and we should never put that expectation on someone.  We need to extend grace to ourselves and others in heaping portions as they are just trying to get through each day like the rest of us.  When one of us falls, the other three are there to pick them up with a hug, a prayer, or encouraging word.  Don’t ever leave one of us behind and to be each other’s cheerleaders come hell or high water.

I hear about families who are estranged, and it pains me.  Never do I want my family to not talk to one another or not be in each other’s lives.  In fact, if I had it my way, my family would live on a large compound together forever with my grandchildren running all around, every holiday spent together, and always being in each other’s company.  I know that is completely unrealistic, but a girl can dream, can’t she?

As I get older and more mellow, the high bar that I had set for myself has lowered.  No longer do I care as much about fitting in with the crowd, but I sure care about the example I set for my children.  I don’t expect perfection whereas before I cared about keeping the perfect household.  The dishes can wait.  What is more important is a conversation with my kids where we connect and have honest communication.  My dinner menu isn’t as chef-like anymore as it is short-order cook, but our family can sit around the table and talk about our day, the highs and lows, and everywhere in between.  Our marriage is not flawless, but my husband and I sure do have many prayer sessions where we cover our kids, home, jobs, and each other in God’s Word because we can’t make it in our lives without Him.  I prefer more laughter than tears because chuckling is more fun and oh, so good for the soul.

This perfectly imperfect brood is mine and I am thankful that God has chosen me to be the matriarch.  It’s okay to show our kids that we don’t have it all together or have all the answers.  That no matter how old we get, we will still be making mistakes and learning, and that is completely alright.  We are going to mess up, so take ownership, say the apology, and learn to do better next time.  Humility goes a long way in relationships and so does forgiveness.

As I see the choices my kids are making as they mature, I don’t always agree with them, but I am learning that I don’t have to.  What I must do, however, is just be there for them as a constant stability.  I will always be standing by as their sounding board, advice giver (when they ask for it), hugger, Kleenex hander, and prayer partner.  I will love them no matter what because that is the foundation of family.  We are blood, but we are also people who really like each other and choose to be there come what may.



So, this is us.  The Furtado Four are flawed, messy, irritable, sometimes unkind, broken, faltering – however, when we aren’t those things, we are also loving, honoring, compassionate, gracious, and tender with one another.  We are all of those things wrapped up in one, which is better than any television program out there.  We can tune in daily as things unfold and watch what happens next.  It is quite an adventure, and I am all in for it!